I Am A Changemaker

Guess what? ‘I am a changemaker that brings transformative laughter to the human world.’  

This was my first ever Apple Tree Statement from my ILS training and it still stands strong today. Not long after that I figured out that ‘I am a friend that brings transformative laughter to the human world’ and when I am feel deep in a alignment and in fact lost in the profound I tend to rally around the feeling “I am resonance”.  

‘I am a changemaker’ these days sounds both goofy and  generic and actually quite contrary to what I actually do. But sure if you asked me a few years ago this may have been the goofy kind of answer I would have given to describe what I do. Now I think about change, location and myself very differently to what I once believed were very advanced ideas of world change. 

The thing is ‘Life is Change’ being alive is at its very essence is being in the middle of a chain reaction of cause and effect. Even if you locked yourself in a box room for 20 years your very existence is a never ending process of change in it’s very minutiae. 

The thing that I realise now about the idea of being a changemaker seems to come with the underlying presumption that there must be something wrong or that something needs to change or indeed fixed. Now more than ever it seems to be true that maybe something does have to change. Yet at the same time the thing that needs to change are actually the changes. I’m sure I mentioned this about the Amish a few articles back. What we need to change is what shouldn’t have been changed in the first place. How the fuck do you do that?

I’ve spent a lot of my life witnessing changemakers flying in all direction making change in places they weren’t invited and ignoring the place where they actually are. Feeling deep into my anxiety paralysis terrified about the impact of my chickpea consumption. Wondering how this relates to land trauma? 

Anyways despite the anxiety paralysis and glacial pace I Am A Changemaker. If I look at changemaking in the micro the most obvious way that I express that is my production of CO2. I’m an oxygen thief. Scary huh? So in these times at the center of both a climate emergency and an airborne killer disease I am forced once again as a ‘Changemaker” to come back to the idea of breathing as the most centered understanding place of where change is available in my life. Maybe this is exactly why breath work has taken the world by storm in recent years. Beyond meditation and stillness, how about breathing? Right now our most basic action of breathing is entirely toxic to our planetary system and thus ourselves and all other Earthlings. It’s easy to imagine why people are vehemently throwing around the idea of oxygen thievery. The concept itself opening a whole process of worthiness competition. Which may relate deeply to the idea May All Beings Be Well. You see as much as we might want to change things. How useful is it really if most of us are blithely unaware of the toxicity of our own breath? Yup welcome to the brutal innerscape and outerscapes of 2020. 

I’m not sure at what point I’m going to get round to changing the way I breathe. So maybe it’s time to return to that age old tradition of simply observing the breath and wondering what it’s needs might be and in the process witness my own needs. Witness that right here right now each breath is a precious gift that I might be wasting by not giving it my very deliberate attention. 

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