An Introduction to Complicity, Disengagement & Non-Compliance



“People that say that they system works, works for the system.”

Russel Brand

I am complicit. I was born that way. That is how it begins. It takes some doing to be born free, here on planet Earth. Few of us grew up in the woods catching a glimmer of the stars and it’s hard to imagine what that might be like. The moonlight glimmering through a canopy of trees. Yet here it’s far more common that the durge of light pollution, might block our view of the stars, it seems too perverse. As does the blocking of the sun with air pollution. Yet for many of us humans, this is the world within which we live. We are removed from our parents at birth for our safety. We are removed from our parents to be educated. Our parents are financially punished if they put parenting above productivity. We a re-taught how to be financially productive. We are taught how to fit into the system. Yes we were born complicit. Maybe this is the real original sin.

It all feels wrong and many of us find ourselves confused. Longing for a place to call home never knowing if it really exists wondering how to find it. If it is a feeling, a place a person and so we find our selves lost. Looking to heal the part os ourselves that we never knew we had to heal and then that story comes. The healing journey, where we are cast of productive society and we find our selves in a wasteland and that is where the fallow field of healing humans come. Lost our of the matrix. We are self-medicating in bars. Getting high in back alleys. Walking along beaches. Thinking about jumping off buildings and in front of trains. Screaming for attention. Most importantly not getting it. Our pain is too uncomfortable, our loss is too great and our schism is so deep it forces our isolation.

I’ve come a long way on my journey from holding my face up against the school fence and being heartbroken about having to paint a tulip when we were told we were going to paint flowers and all the other equally devastating moment of my life in between. Sometimes I lose sight of how far I have personally come and more than that how much I have learned along the way.

The challenges are huge and what I can say is that at times they can also be totally overwhelming. I have spent many years of my life trapped in anxiety paralysis trying ot figure out the best ways forward.  Going round in circle trying to find the best ways to intervene in a broken system. I have literally drilled down into the core of this an found that what we really have to do is heal humans. That beyond that in the healing process we have to teach people that we are not the challenge ‘The System” is the challenge. Severla years of activism then taught me that working from within “The System” was exhausting and the best way to create change was, disengage and create new structures. That creating small community inventions and non-compliance with what was prescribed could create the major changes in the lives of the people I worked with and create positive change and impact on a community level.  That we could learn and grow with one another. That together no-compliance was possible and that we created new ways of being which stopped us from being complicit in a broken system.





Gender, Race and Sexuality Trauma and Abuse.

IMG-5657As I went through the whole process of writing about the different causes of systemic trauma I have to say that I struggled to figure out exactly where is at all this fit in. Did gender violence and trauma come under the clause of systemic abuse. Then I realised that despite the fact that most of the picture that accompanied this series were all taking from a Gender Violence march here in South Africa I struggled to understand if the problem was or was not systemic. I really had to think about it. Then I had to realise that I too was deftly unable to indentify the impacts of gender trauma in my own life that I was not able to see how gender inequality had effected me. right down to the way I thought about gender that even though as a woman I knew myself to be equal to all the men in my life and life expecting to be treated equally that the abhorrent truth was that I am not. From things as simple as domestic chores all the way to knowing that my body is not automatically respected in public and even at times intimate spaces. It’s been shocking to come to terms with and at the same time deeply personal. That my very being based on the very nature of my gender was under threat, especially here in South Africa.

It’s hard to know or understand why gender trauma exists and that it isn’t exclusive to women either. That men too suffer from the constructs of masculinity, to be strong, unemotional to the point that we as a culture are now able to defined ideas of masculinity toxic. That as women we can now write of half the population for the ways to in which they have been brutalised by the system, whether it be cultural, religious or economic.

Withs hastags to of #balcklivesmatter we have to accept the racial inequality is and ongoing feature not just in the west, here in the African continent too. Where war and genocide rage without western intivention, for reason that are never fully explored. Yet are recognised and understood. We still aren’t comfortable talking about racisim or the accptance of the percieved other. Her in Africa and I means as a continent it is often noted my other African nations how aggressive and entitled South African are and that that is often attributed to the Aparthied regime. Where most of the rest of Africa ratial tensions are minimal.

Sexuality is to also something which come under scrutiny within the public sphere, where anything other hertornormative poeple and lifestyles are often outcast and ostratised for what happens in the bedroom. When in all honesty it has absolutely nothing to do with anybody else. The truth is is that we are killing each other over the forms of our bodies, the colour of our skin and sources of our deepest desires. We are dehumanising our very nature to try and fit into cultures that were prescribed to us rather than designed by us.

We all deserved to be loved and respected for who we are no matter our human form.


An Introduction to Institutional, Governmental & Economic Abuse & Trauma

The photo was taken out outside a South African police station where a man who had been arrested for raping and murdering of Uyinene Mrwetyana was due to be let out on bail.

The evil of corruption reaches into every corner of the world. It lies at the heart of the most urgent problems we face — from economic uncertainty, to endemic poverty, to the ever-present threat of radicalisation and extremism.” — David Cameron


Anybody who knows me or indeed has much knowledge of David Cameron is having a chuckle to themselves or either feeling violated right. #fakenews before that was even a thing. Yes, David Cameron might be pointing out the obvious. However, as a member of the notorious Bullingdon Club, it’s hard to imagine how David Cameron might be able to to talk about corruption with a straight face.

We live within systems, within systems. Some small, some big. The powers that be want you to believe that they have the power, all of it. It simply isn’t true.

All of our current western systems were imagined and then primed into being. Government and governance were melded into being from chiefs, chieftains, the kingdoms to republics. For many of us, the appropriation of land and power started with a materialistic land grab that was intended to increase power and profits. Colonialists created countries that never existed and drew imagined straight lines across continents that had never been there before.  Pioneers flocked to those lines and normalised land appropriation. Religion was used to overlay their influence on the people that already lived there.  The people that wanted power took it. They didn’t ask for permission.

Our Economic system is designed to keep us enslaved. Our health system is designed to make us sick. Institutions too have sprouted up across the globe imposing their world view and imposing their agenda, whether it be education, health, religion or governance. The current economic system is more pernicious creating a structure that infiltrated everything from trade to investment. Controlling who had capital the create change.

All of the above removing us from our sense of connection

Families are ripped apart, heartbroken and trails of tears are still wept in a never-ending search for home and belonging in a world that became increasingly anti-human. Only the most rural and inaccessible parts of the world have remained intact.

Now they are being impacted. There is plastic pollution on the Island of Midway and the mountain tops of the Pyrenees. The icecaps are melting and we have oil spills in Alaska. We have weapons with the ability to destroy millions and further deteriorate life on our only planet. Yet war seems eternal and the motivation that fuels governments. We have enough abundance to feed the world and plenty for the world to be plentiful. We have to technology to connect the world with almost every human story and still the rich get richer, the poor get poorer. Poses the biggest of questions: why?

We only give them the authority on things because it wouldn’t be polite to argue. Most of us are still running around looking for certificates, awards and even qualifications to be worthy to spread the knowledge or skills that we have so that we can meet other people approval. When in fact and of course it is all made up.


An Introduction to Land Abuse & Trauma



Stand still.  The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost.  Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes.  Listen.  It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven,
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost.  Stand still.  The forest knows
Where you are.  You must let it find you.

by, David Wagoner

It’s the Global Story and it’s happening right now. Maybe it’s the forest fires displacing the indigenous tribes of the Amazon and destroying to worlds lungs simultaneously. Maybe the derelict state of “Native Reservations in America” or maybe it’s right here in Observatory,  Cape Town where a housing and office development aims to build over one of the most ancient human settlements in the world.

As a European living in South Africa, it’s easy for me to understand the land question from the Highland Clearance of Scotland to the Forced Removals of the Apartheid era. Land is the pivotal questions affecting our cities, villages, town and wild spaces. We are all searching for somewhere to belong only to find somebody got there first. Our planet is populated and with the human’s population continuing to explode it’s hard for many of us to resolve the land issue both historically and currently.

The more radical would argue that no-one can own land and that access to it is the essence of true humanity. After all, we can’t survive without it. It seems strange that as a human I have to explain that to anybody. Human’s have needed land and water since the beginning of time even the ancient hunter-gathers like that of the Khoi San need somewhere to roam to forage and rest. So what is about the land question that seems to baffle us so much? Why does it cause so much dis-ease that someone might want their land back or that communities might want to harness the power and resource beneath their feet?

We shoule all have the ability to grow our own food, harvest our own crops and work collboratively in order to create full rich sustainable lives that is created through the resources that surround us. For millenia that is exaclty how we have made our way through the world. Yet since the beginning of the industrial revolution land disposseion has become a phenomion of the capitalist system. Where land was utilised for provit rather than for living. Millions of humans have been forced out of the rural communities into urbanisation. Leading to a degradation of culture and wellbeing both core componants of a healthy humans life. Only now are we fully beginnign to understand the impact of displacement and city living.

For me the land question is at the center of my mission to heal humans how can anybody heal if they don’t have somewhere to belong? How can anybody heal if they don’t feel safe where they are. It has been this drive for human security that has driven the capitalist cause. That without property, work and job human lifa has become inviable. We have been trapped in a system of dispossions where corporations and bacnk own land, rather thne the people who tend to it.

On a deeper level, there is far more the land than is the ability to produce food, graze cattle and at this point in the game grow our own oxygen. What about the spiritual aspect of the land, a sense of belonging. Witnessing seasonal weather and celebrating the turning of the wheel or even more interestingly the energetic portals of the planet. That we are deeply connected to the Earth beneath our feet.

There are solutions if we are willing to change the way we think about land.



An Introduction to Educational Abuse & Trauma

A public mural in Salt River, Cape Town, highlighting the female narrative, that has largely been ignored or undermined.

If you look at the schooling they received at these so-called ‘Public Schools’; where they were really abused, sodomised and hurt in all kinds of ways and taught to keep a stiff upper lip. That was necessary for the maintenance of the empire. That’s how these people go out there, without any feeling whatsoever and massacer the natives of any country that they went to if they had too. That’s why they could do that. Gabor Mate

The Western School system has formed the backbone of empire and has been imperative to the global role of colonialism and enforcing systems of control on indigent cultures across the world. Most western education historically has sought to vilify language, spiritual practices, cultural practices, gender and even skin colour. The schooling system was developed in order to roll out the industrial revolution on mass, rewarding human compliance, accuracy and productivity.

Western schooling removed us from integrated family groups, our connection to the land and safe holistic learning experiences. Beyond this much of the education that we have been taught has been presented to deliberately to destroy culture. Most western education has sought to vilify language, spiritual practices, cultural practices, gender and even skin colour. Thus chastising our very natures and undermining our natural gifts.

This individuated and collective trauma this has caused has worked to diminish our power. Whatsmore the individualised trauma is still very evident in many adults today seeking to gain approval through academic prowess and material gain.

Whatsmore the individualised trauma is still very evident in many adults today seeking to gain approval through academic prowess and material gain. Leading us to believe that our inherent value is like to both our productivity, financial contribution and personal wealth. Leading us to believe that we should act as humans robots rather fully integrated emotional being capable of rich and meaningful lives beyond the realms of work. You are not a human robot.

Contemporary schooling has far more to do with forced compliance and learning that offer very little value in the real world. That is based on what you should know rather than what you can do or even what a child or adult may even be interested in. The education system is prescriptive rather than progressive.

Of course, skill and knowledge sharing are essential skills for human survival. Basic skills like reading and writing should, of course, be accessible to everyone. Yet large scale education as we currently understanding has yet to activate a fully integrated adult fully able to bring their gifts to the world.

We know that infant and children have 5 years to fully activate their brains in order to have full independent lives. That early child development is crucial in order to create successful and fulfilled adults. That tools of connection and educational exploration and conducive parenting is inherent to creating fully functional humans. That cohesive family units protect humans for reactionary traumas later in life. Yet the school system seeks to minimise parental interaction and influence over a child’s development disrupting the key role of family culture in the process of personal attainment.

Recent breakthroughs in trauma have now come to highlight the importance of whole body and emotional integration to promote self-regulation to stimulate feelings of wellness.

There is a sort of arrogance that I associate with Educations that assumes that someone else knows what is better for you and indeed your children than you do.

Writing this in South Africa where access to the most basic of western education is a privilege it seems short-sighted and highly provocative to be writing about education abuse or even trauma. Access to the basic skills of reading and writing is for many is still far beyond so many people on a global scale it feels hard to even justify writing this. There are so many impediments from cost, geographical access and for girls and women period poverty. It is still important to note that even South Africa access to Westen Schooling is considered imperative to a child’s material success, even though the culture and society they are educated within may be very far removed from homelife experiences.

I Sued The School System


An Introduction to Religious Abuse & Trauma


This picture is taken inside the church that was built by the London Missionary Society at the Kuruman Moffat Mission Station where David Livingstone first lived on the African continent. 


When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.

Desmond Tutu

Even writing the above words filled me with a sense of nausea. Given the attitude and dealings of the Catholic church over the last couple of millennia I’m sure there is more than enough evidence that Religious Abuse and Trauma are real. And let’s face it Jesus was crucified by his own people, the Jews for acting against the Tora. So you know what I’m talking about is hardly new. Of course in contemporary culture, western media is far more likely to be going on about Islamist Fund-a-Mentalist than unpacking where religious dogmas have got us to in the last few thousand years.

More interestingly though especially in regards to the Catholic church they are all too aware of the limitation of their own dogma as the musings of Father José Gabriel Funes The Vatican Astronomer who states “we can’t put limits on God’s creative freedom”

So why would you? So many of us walk round with strange unfounded beliefs based on all sorts of religious indoctrination. Whether you be a monotheist, polytheist or something else.

I am in no way anti-religion. In fact quite the opposite I think that we should all have methods means and ways to ground our spirituality into the 4D, in fact, I think it is one of the most powerful things that you can do. All I’m saying is that we don’t have to be so dogmatic about it. Even in recent years the imposition of Yoga and Meditation as the cure-all for everything that is spiritually ailing you seems to be taking on a somewhat dictatorial element in our current lifestyle lense much like aerobics did in the ’70s and eighties. Oh yes, you know what I am talking about.

When I talk about Religious Abuse what I am really talking about is how much of our spiritual and emotional power is given away even before birth. That we are born into a spiritual system that already seems to label us as something subservient to something other than ourselves. That we are not all-powerful beings of a divine nature. Whether it’s the concept of original sin, sacrificing your children, having to name your child after a great prophet or even accept that life is suffering. All of the above denote a tone of unworthiness within the human condition and its bullshit.

Of course, divine truth can be found in all of the ancient scriptures, yet how many of those have been corrupted to serve the power-hungry and loathsome attitudes of the power-hungry?

Now more then ever it’s time to find your own way. To take in the awesome and behold yourself as the magical, divine and emotional creature you are, that is able to transmute pain and elevate to joy and emit love. Yes, all of that. #justsaying Even now the religious quest is used as reason and justification for all sorts of anti-human atrocities. From the Crusades to ISIS.


If your looking ante-dote to all the madness you can check out Nature Of God By Alan Watts.

Process, Uncategorized

An Introduction to Intergenerational, Bloodline Abuse & Trauma

Trauma are often directly related to Trauma and Abuse are cycles that can be broken if we choose the heal. Bloodline and Intergenerational Trauma are often directly related to Systemic Abuse and Trauma that have been passed on through generations.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.
by Phillip Larkin


Your parents fucked you up. Yes, they did. Welcome to the human story. If you think what I’m telling you is new information what you really need to know is that the above poem was written in 1971 and they still don’t teach it in High Schools Globally. This is not new information.

If you are looking for a get out clause you can always blame your parents. After all, they chose to have you. You did not ask to be brought into this world. Then again neither did they. Blaming your parents for how you turned out or feel right now is not the way. That does not mean to say that your parent has not done fucked up and heinous things. What we can say is that you are and adult now and how you choose to respond to this information is your responsibility now. Fucked Up, Unfair and True. This is absolutely the right time to have a temper tantrum. It’s not their fault.

Congratulations you felt your feelings all of them and you’ve come back. You see the thing is that if we are able to look at our parents as people we might, in turn, realise that it wasn’t that easy for them either. When I look back to my grandparents who were both involved in WW2 it’s very easy to imagine that no matter how safe their war experience may or may not have been to live through War must be a relatively traumatic thing. Not only this my Great Grand Parents would too have lived and survived WW1. Knowing this it’s really easy for me to correlate that both my parents must have been raised by traumatised people and then only then do you begin to get the just of it. Depending on what your upbringing was like you may feel the waves of anger and resentment wash over you. Now what of the anger and resentment that you might feel expected to feel in response to this new information or you may be experiencing an ah-ha moment.

If you think this lets your parents off the hook it doesn’t. Like you we are all adults and we are responsible for our own actions and behaviours. I am not offering an excuse, rather an explanation. Knowledge is power. Now more than ever we all have the ability to gain access to the help we need. I know it’s shit that it fell you. That no one has come along and said now, their, there.  But you know what. You here, you made it this far. I believe in you lets keep going.

If you need some extra help with this please click the link for a free Bloodline Meditation Clearing by Steve Nobel of The Soul Matrix

Process, Uncategorized

An Introduction to Systemic Abuse & Trauma

Why oh why would you business cards to represent systemic trauma & abuse? I’ve figured out it’s my thing. Sign up to my website if you want to find out more www.thelifedoula.com.

I’ve been working on niching for years, padding round the issues with a few ah-ha moments with very little actually landing other than a few keywords and concepts, from Self-Nurturance to Personal Activism. Healing Humans to Collective Futures. Earthlings and Bloodline Trauma. Emotional Environments to Land Healing and even Human Geography and the Wellbeing Economy.

What I was trying to say seemed too big and cumbersome to effectlively niche in. I’ve trotted around ideas of overwhelm and crisis.  I’ve thought about secure attachment and support systems. Community building, emotional mapping, global patterns and issues. I’ve known for a very long time that they are all connected that it’s not any one thing but all of them without having the words to explain. Then all of a sudden trauma kinda became mainstream and the system became increasingly under attack. I have no idea how many times I have had conversations about “The System” in art studios, on beaches, basement flats and even in public talks. That it’s not just one thing it’s everything all without fully sinking into the idea of both systemic abuse and systemic trauma. They say if you don’t have a word for something you aren’t able to fully discuss it.

It finally hit me. All of a sudden it’s become clear to me what it is Systemic Trauma I actually deal with as The Life Doula. Systemic Trauma!!! It took a while and we got there. I’m not sure when it hit or even why then it was here and then it stayed and now I’m getting on with living with it. And saying hey I know you. Do you want a cup of tea? Can we talk about this a bit more? Luckily I’ve spent many years talking about all of the above. That seems to have made me perfect for the job I invented for myself.

That I have been burrowing down through form a very early age. Whether it by dysfunctional family life, cultural abuse, religious abuse, the education system, sexism,  the capitalist system, violence, ecocide, racism, and colonialism. I write that list in no order of priority other than the chronological order in which I myself have experienced them.

There are many places where my journey started from family disharmony to hating school, rejecting the Catholic Church, the Capitalist System and the impacts of Colonialism. It was this big messy ball of string that never fully became unravelled until one summer when I had the privilege of being the labour partner of a friend and witnessing a stranger die in front of me with a few days of one another. These two events impacted me greatly for what might seem obvious reasons. Then of course in the mind of a seeking soul for which I surely have, I felt something deeper. A vortex of thought had opened that I couldn’t get away from. Why were these two things birth and death so alien to me? How had I as a human avoided up until this point (in my late twenties) the two events that mark every life? That somehow our humaness was being systematically removed from us. It was a call to action like no other, that seemed to under pin all of our human failings. How do we restore our humaness? Every since I have felt like I have been moving through time at a very deliberate pace. That has been holding in each hand the chains of the past and the liberation of the future. That the actions that I take now have the ability to echo through time. In my own journey and that of those around me. That everything that I am able to interact with can be gently and subtly transformed if we approach them in the right way. Including me.

It’s all connected and as I have laid in bed over many years and even decades quandaring our unfolding human and planetary crisis, feeling all the feels.  I have known with complete certainty for quite some time it is the human that lies at the centre of both the societal challenge and the solution. What I also know is that there are a million and one ways to “fix it” whether it be ourselves, our communities or “the planet”. That is we approach the human as the incredibly creative and unique beings that we are each one of us has a personal solution to immense challenges that face us both privately, personally, as a species and as earthlings. The planet is not endangered. We are, along with all the other Earthlings that we have imposed our human pain on. We are a danger to ourselves and it is something that needs to be urgently corrected.

So yes Systemic Trauma.

If you want to find out more please sign up to this website or click the link below that will take you to additional informations about what is Systemic Abuse, Systemic Trauma and how is it affecting you.


An Introduction to Trauma & Abuse

#aminext this photograph was taken after violence against women march in Cape Town, South Africa that asked for the South African Government to declare a state of emergency. This was as a result of the ongoing and increasing gender-based violence across the country. What I thought was fascinating about this photo was how it represented cycles. The monument is to General Louis Botha a Boer War veteran and first Prime Minister of the Union of South Africa after making peace with the British.  The statue can be taken to be representative of standardised ideas of the patriarchy and thus worthy of being defaced during a GBV rally.

What came first the chicken or the egg? Like seriously? Which one? That’s what I’m still trying to figure out here. What I can say is that there is a very intimate and complex relationship between Trauma and Abuse that as of yet has not fully been unravelled though we are now well on the way.

Trauma is something that I have been deep diving into over the last few months. I’ve been doing my best to compartmentalise in the human life span and what it means for both me and my clients. What has become clear is it’s not just one thing that traumatises us it’s multiply. That these traumas combined are a result of nothing less than systemic abuse, that as humans we have been expected to behave and operate in ways that are not natural to the human condition.

It’s clear that modern life traumatises us and that increasingly as both individuals and communities that have we have been left mitigating the symptoms of trauma as ‘health issues’ rather than accepting to impact of cause and effect. We are living lives far separate to our natural ways of being. Whether it be the home environment within which we live, the communities within which we operate or our places of work. We are all largely existing in lives that do not serve our highest potential of that of the planet’s. It’s all connected.

So what is trauma? That’s the whole thing it’s complicated. It can be caused by a ‘traumatic’ event or even a traumatic environment, children are far more susceptible to it. It switches on your whole brain in a fight, flight or freeze response. There is now evidence to suggest that there is also a fawn or face-off response too, especially in response abuse. We store negative memories in the brain far more prominently in the brain than positive ones as the result of evolutionary glitch that is intended to protect us from threat can keep us trapped for years. That means that often we end up living in the past.

Symptoms of trauma are numerous and include disorientation, disassociation, anxiety, anger, rage, fear, terror, panic, depression and much much more.

More serious diagnosis of truama include Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Complex Post Tramatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). PTSD is an extreme repsonse to one truamtic incident meanwhile CPTSD occurs as result of multiple traumas.

Trauma can occur as a result of naturally occurring events such as accidents, natural disasters and medical interventions.

More often though as I am discovering it is as a result of abuse, paradoxically though the abused often become abusers and starts trauma cycle that can be hard to break. Abuse too can be hard to identify. When we think of abuse we often think of physical and sexual abuse however abuse can often be far more pernicious than that. Ultimately abuse can simply be characterised as a lack of both respect and boundaries in all areas of our lives. This can simply mean that someone might fail to respect your wishes and be dishonest about. Emotional abuse can include invalidating somebody else’s feelings, ignoring the impact that our behaviours have on others or inflicting our emotional pain on others. Psychological abuse involves using mind games and lie to manipulate other peoples thoughts, behaviours and feelings and may involve threatening and controlling behaviour.  Physical abuse is violent. Sexual abuse can include molestation and rape but is not limited to these two acts. This link may help you identify if you are being abused within a home setting. it’s important to remember that abuse can also happen outside of the home. In the workplace of other areas of your life, though this article offers a good outline as to the nature of abuse.

With relation to the field that I’m interested in which is systemic abuse and trauma, the intersectionality of systemic trauma means that what might appear as the impact of a singular trauma can actually be indicative of multiple cases of abuse that are co-existing in any one person’s life over long periods of time. That generational, gender, religious, educational, land, institutional as well as economic abuse all have the ability to impact most humans alive today. That it isn’t just one story of personal violation it’s multiple and they are multilayered and crosssection society. That if we can create a deeper understanding of our own story we might be able to to see beyond what is impacting us, as it is.

What is the most incredible thing is that in the last ten years as a society we have made such incredible leaps and bounds forward in trauma that with the right support it is now curable.

Here is a video of  Joe Dispenza & Gregg Braden talking about trauma how it affects the brain and how it can be cured.

Process, Uncategorized


IMG-5738Yup, it’s a new word. Innerscapes. Not sure if I made it up or appropriated it, either way, it was out there in the either and I grabbed it. Several years ago during a conversation with a friend when we were having one of those deep down and dangerous shares about how we really felt. When we cast aside the sunshine and rainbows and where we found our hearts and souls alone in a room. That’s the innerscape. It’s the canvas of emotions on which we build our lives. Let me tell you there are some beautiful interpretations of the human mood board on show for all of us to explore.

What I can say and let me use my own innerscape as en example here is that over the years is that my innerscape has transformed like the outerscape has looking out a train window. That depending on where or how you are sitting, and who you are sharing the journey with can radically alter your experieince. My own innerscape used to be painted with terror, despair, helplessness, sorrow and on better day mild melancholia. Only ten years on I frequently swim in elated, dance with happiness and delight in delightful. You see the words we say emit the feeling and now my innerscape seems to be underplayed by neutrality and curiosity rather than anything slightly more sinister. Of course, hurts rear their head from time to time and the pain and suffering are real. I no longer live there, those feeling are an interesting side trip on my life odyssey that added a little more adventure.

Innerscape to me can be experienced over time. Over a day, a week, a month, a year, decades of even life times. Small units of time are the building block of the innerscape. I know it’s epic. So how you feel on a day to day basis is going to underpin the landscape of your lifetime story.

From tired in the morning to invigorated in the afternoon. If we can write it down maybe we can begin to figure out the arc of the story. What’s draging us down or raising us up? What can be witnessed and changed? Loved into form or even nurtured into beauty. How we respond to the way that we feel tells us all we need to know about our relationship with ourselves. That if we can speak kindly, extend a compassionate outlook then maybe we can learn to accept what is. Extend the concept of gratitude and see where our emotions are guiding us. That sometimes our emotions are guiding us into the darkness and that is ok too.


If you want to discover more about your own Innerscape you can buy and download the Innerscapes Worksheet below. It’s $3.