Uncategorized

Community Healing

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Fire circles on the beach. What could be more healing than that. Did I mention I now live in the best neighbourhood in the UK? Still there is Community Healing to do. All feelings are welcome.

OMG this is so embarrassing and please excuse my while I splash my white feelings across the pages of my own blog. Fuck. Community Healing? Really? High-Quality Relationships really? Who exactly are you bullshitting here miss sloppy blogger of the year. Yes, maybe I have to do some of my very own community healing on this very blog here.

I’m fucking up all over the place. Like very seriously I am. Yet at the same time, I am making huge progress. The real truth is right now. I’ve got clients my community is growing and erraticness seems to be growing by the day? Do you know why? Because my clients are my priority. Yet at the same time, the people that read my blog might be my clients. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. The way I see it though is that honesty is the basis of any strong and consistent relationship so as long as I’m honest with you, you will accept my flawsome. Seriously though how do all these bloggers and digital gurus do it? They probably plan a lot. They’ve probably internalised the system a lot. They might even have ‘staff’.

Meanwhile here is me getting on with it badly wondering if there really is anybody out there that is as bad at post scheduling as I am. I certainly don’t see other peoples fuck ups on the level that I witness my own. Humaness is real.

I’m interested in healing, I’m interested in trauma and write this blog in order to stay in touch with my own sanity. My own healing lies at the very centre of the community that I may or may not be building. So I have an obligation to be honest with myself and you.

Is this how we heal in community? I like to think that Community Healing can be created with honesty. That we have to stop gaslighting each other and pretending that everything is ok, even when it isn’t. I see now that even now I could sink deeper into my truth. The thing is also don’t feel the need to sink into my victimhood right now. You see I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I know I am doing my best. I also know that my best is good enough, even though I know most people are not messing up as publicly as I feel I am. I’m not being bound by perfection of limited by my grief of wanting to be better. It takes practice. I takes humility to be broken and fail over and over again. So in my mind it makes me some kind of superhero. You see when it comes to relationships 90 per cent of it is showing up. Doesn’t matter how/ where and sometimes even when. It’s the fact that you show up continually. So if I was living in The Life Doula Community I would hope that one of the elders would reach out to me and thank me for my offering. Then place my healing right back at the centre of this process. You see we cannot heal in isolation. We need people to pick us up when we fall. We need people to catch us as we stumble. Hold us when are vulnerable and hear us in our pain. Its so far forms perfect and that’s its beauty. I like to think that community healing is about all f the above. That we can grace each other with the gift of presence. That we can all hols value no matter how deeply flawed we are. That all offerings are equal and precious.

Of course there is the risk that I am doing harm here. Yet at the smae time I hope it inspires you to flail, break, fail and get up again. You see it isn’t all about you. It’s about the community you serve.

Process, Uncategorized

Reaching Out

IMG-9382Today as in today I’m not feeling so great and I’m wondering what I can write that will best serve you. I want to work on something that will be mutually beneficial as a navigate a some lingering emotional turmoil and wonder what is the next best step? If speaking our truth is really powerful, and what really serves us, and grants other people the right to be themselves; is it my job to tell you what going on with me? Or is it my job to pretend that everything’s ok and not to bother you with my business? When the business of healingĀ  and therefore healing myself is the business I’m in. It’s a question I keep asking myself. I like to belief that in holding space for myself I am holding space for you. That maybe, in my unorthodox approach you find some light relief from your own shit.

Reaching out for help is often one of the bravest things that we can do for ourselves. Talking about our shit, coming right out and saying it is often as little or as much as we need to say about a situation, our emotions or our thoughts. To remove the taboo. We can’t always be sure of how any one person will receive what we have to say. The truth of the matter is that we have the right to freedom of expression. It’s something that we often forget. That instead or being nice, kind or generous that we have the right to be honest. Honesty can serve us. Keeping up a facade hides us from what we want most. It stops us from being who we really are even if that might be perceived as ugly, inconsiderate or thoughtless. Other peoples feelings are not our responsibility. This is something that I often need to remind myself of as I pick away at the great puzzle of my life. That often I choose to be nice, kind or generous and betray myself in the process. That I don’t get what I want as a result and people don’t see me for who I really am. It makes me wonder if I am failing at being me and why I feel the need to protect someone from me. Aren’t all thoughts, feelings, emotions valid? I say all these things in safe spaces. Why not here? Why not now? Then I see that I am protecting myself as much as I am protecting the other person. That I want people to be kind to me, cause in some moments that is all I want to handle. That the person opposite me has their own struggles and challenges and we are all just doing the best we can as we work this deeply collaborative process called life.