It really is. A decade at an end. The truth of the matter is, I have no idea where I might be when you read this. I writing this nearly three weeks ago, as I sit on a precipice of something entirely new and unclear. Most of this year I have eluded to the fact that things have not gone exactly to plan in my life and yet still I find myself unwilling to share my story. It’s actually all lined out for the first of next years blog posts, hopefully, that will keep you tuned in for some major revelations.
In the last post, I talked about the power of connection. That is what I specialise in. Holding space, creating space and making time for change. If there was ever a time for change it is now. My personal crisis bathes in minutia as we look at things on a planetary scale. We have a climate crisis, globally polarised politics and a whole new generation seeking to be heard as Millenials begin to take a backstage. Millennials for obvious reason have dominated the last decade, largely considered entitled, among other things that don’t come to mind as easily. Even the other day I was talking to someone who had been in Bali to discover a tribe of Global Nomads, as I talked about taking more of my work online.
Twenty years ago I fantasied about being a travel writer and then demonised myself for thinking that anybody else would be interested in what I have to say. Writing was for the confident, the well educated and somehow the endorsed. That we needed people to believe in us to move forward in life. I was not wrong. My lack of secure attachment, runaway lifestyle, (rather than nomadic) hindered me from progression in ways that I was not yet fully able to recognise or understand. What I realise now twenty years later is that somehow, that probably made me, far more interesting than your stock standard public school alumni writer. Yet even as I developed as a writer I found Guardian articles blasé and lacking depth as a result of the endorsement that only middle-class living can buy. I didn’t know then that how I felt was symptomatic of a broken system that disenfranchised the different, demonised the disengaged and stopped us from connecting. It’s only in very recent weeks that I’m beginning to understand that how I feel have far more to do with neuroscience than it has to do with personality. That brain science and personal perception are the universes playing out in the micro what is happening in the macro. That we are all reflections of ourselves and that those with the most to say are very rarely heard due to the importance of all matters E- Loc. That as humans we are controlled by so many things external to ourselves. That the need for endorsement is a form of psychosis visited on us not just by our primitive and infant’s brain yet by society itself.
It’s the end of an era. I really do hope so. I want the system to fail, for human spirit thrive and end the robotic and enslaved existence of the human’s soul. I’ve been told it’s all happening in January 2020. I won’t be stockpiling food. I’ll be hoping for the best, diving into my soul and surrendering to flow and be here somewhere in the either for anybody that needs me. The thing is about the Global Nomad thing is that most of us are deeply disconnected sitting in cafes or air BnB’s narrating lives that don’t really exist. Where tea with your mother is destroying the planet and your digital devices are implicit in illegal wars and child labour. Our privilege keeps people enslaved. There is in this current system no way round that. Ten years on from a decade ago we really are only just beginning to understand how the greed induced tyranny of most of human existence needs to be broken down.
On a personal level, this decade has been a decade of love, deep unadulterated love. The kind that heals souls, brings a person home and brings a sense of belonging that stills the heart long enough to hear itself. If there is one thing that I could to take into the next ten years it is love and love alone. Right now we all have the ability to chose the paradigm in which we want to live. For me, that is about giving all my power to my own personal truth that love and joy must guide the way. That personal frequency is everything.
Yup, it’s a new word. Innerscapes. Not sure if I made it up or appropriated it, either way, it was out there in the either and I grabbed it. Several years ago during a conversation with a friend when we were having one of those deep down and dangerous shares about how we really felt. When we cast aside the sunshine and rainbows and where we found our hearts and souls alone in a room. That’s the innerscape. It’s the canvas of emotions on which we build our lives. Let me tell you there are some beautiful interpretations of the human mood board on show for all of us to explore.