These have been three words floating in and out of my thoughts for the last few days. Alarm came to me when I realised that most people woke up to one each morning. Articulate I considered when I realise that so many of us can’t say how we really feel and assertive I was pondering when I thought I was being a lower vibrational bitch. You know cause we all have these thoughts sometimes.
Alarm, like really? How many of you are waking up with this each morning? I’m hoping that my days of waking alarm are now long behind me. I sleep when I need to and have the luxury of waking up gently most mornings. I forget regularly what a privilege that is and how it’s improved my mood over the years. Lack of sleep and waking up with alarm are literally two things that have the ability to push so far over the edge of mental hell that a good sleep routine has been a priority in my life for years. It’s all about knowing your limits. 4 am starts and 12 hour days are not for me. As a result of this, I have been slowly implementing and changing my work schedule over several years to make sure that I am at an optimum and that I even have time for a nap in the afternoon. It’s just as effective as meditating in order to clear your mind (you should try it sometime).
Articulate it’s a word that has often been used to describe unless of course, I’m getting up at 4 am. I have often wondered what that has meant to the people around me. Now I think I know what it is. I’m always searching for the right words. The right string of thoughts in order to express where I am in any given moment. That expressing a genuine reflection of the world, my life, my mind, my heart, my soul all at the same time. As always there is a lot to consider. My honest personal enquiry has always engaged people and now more than ever I am beginning to understand why. That even though my emotional environments changes and my ideas about life are shifting as I grew that I am able to share who I am and how I feel.
Assertive, sum how this about expressing how we feel to people even when it’s uncomfortable. This is something that I have been working on for years. As not expressing ourselves honestly can lead to pent up emotions. For me, assertiveness can cut out a huge amount of confusion in interpersonal relationships when we let the small things become big things. I see it so often with people and how they cope with life if they had just said something the moment it started it may have prevented an outburst or explosion late down the line. We always have the right to say how we feel. We are not responsible for how people receive the information that is given. It also opens the doorways of communication to help us gain insight into other peoples experiences. Sometimes as a woman I think that assertiveness is often what is mistaken or interpreted as being a bitch when actually we all have the right to live in our truth and be heard.
Well, I can assure you that change is something I’m pretty good at with 34 house moves under my belt, I might even say that I am a master craftswoman or something like that. It’s something that many businesses and corporation go on about a lot these days, change management. Let’s face it the world has been speeding up for a while. Technology is outdated before it’s even hits the shelves and everybody wants to be everywhere all at once. FOMO seems to permeate the millennial life and more than that there is already a whole new generation getting ready to emerge. Millennials are already old news and insta perfect lives seems to a get to be a less manageable delusion. We all make mistakes. We all have bad days. Most of us crave more than we already have. Something different, something new, even if it is just that new restaurant that opened up in town. While other stick to the daily grind stay in their rat runs of existence and do there best to protect themselves for unseeable forces or simply embrace making the best lives that they can (Gold stars for them) My mother once said to me a long time ago that “Life is change”. My life of all people’s is certainly demonstrative of that.
For me right now it’s not so much what is going on for me in my personal life than is the challenge. It is the world at large. We often hear people talking about this period in history, as if nothing like this has ever happened before. Like religious, political, racial and gender persecution hasn’t been a thing. It is hard to acknowledge that it always has when we have experienced 75 years of relative peace in the western world. It’s so easy to forget that that peace is built on conflict. That the privileges that we have right now were developed in response to deep crisis and that most of the world systems have developed through exposure to disaster, whether it be in health, education or governance. Like Game of Thrones and the White Walkers, the biggest threat that we have right now is the preservation of life itself. It goes beyond what little scrap of Earth we may be able to dig out and protect for ourselves. It goes beyond our individual materialist needs and individual survival. It’s about land, waterways, communities and respect and believes that we are now on the very brink of a major paradigm shift where the world as we know it is about to change. Every ten years or so there seems to be a massive emergence of what we might call the radical left. Last time it was the Occupy Movement this time its Extinction Rebellion. Fundamentally what you need to know that movements evolve that many of the people involved in the Extinction Rebellion were involved in Occupy. The goal posts have moved somewhat but what you need to know is that the requirements for a successful resolution to our global challenges have not. What we need is a wellbeing economy that put the needs of the planet first. As The Life Doula, this is at the core of my work as I believe that in order for that change to happen that we need in essence to heal humans of the sickness of greed and the disconnection that fuels so much of our insecurities. That we need secure attachments, strong communities and the ability to sustain ourselves, having all the resources that we need for survival within walking distance. It’s time to get back to where we belong, in loving families, intentional tribes safe from the disruptive forces of capitalism.
Do you every get to a point where you think I might never nail this? I think that’s where I am today. I’ve got unfinished projects, new progressions and self-nurturance projectories that I just can’t keep up with. Then I fall back let go, look around and realise my head is driving me crazy. My life is great. I have enough insight to know that my life is on a gentle upward trend. I have a secure homes, running water (Which this time last year might have seemed an impossibility. Find out more here) money in the bank. More importantly I like myself and for someone who often feels like that there personality seems to be bouncy castle embedded with hidden razor blades I love myself plenty. I just have no idea what that looks like to the outer world. For the most part I don’t really care much about that, excpet of course I’m always doing my best to serve and love other people. Cause after all who wants to end up with a personality that’s a bouncey castle with hidden razors blades. quite frankly that’s a lot of what I deal with – Yes my personality me. Sometimes I wonder how it is that I make it into the future and other times I wonder how I used to managed that so well way back in the day.
Working for yourself is such a different ball game when it’s almost entirely customer facing and perfectionism isn’t the end goal. That you need to keep it real that you need to say. You know life? It’s fucking hectic and messy. There are so many things that act and do exactly what they want and they are wonderful. Sometimes I just want to follow my intuition down rabbit holes or do what’s easiest in stead of what’s hardest. That sometimes placating a situation is far easier than drawing lines in the sand. Every day feels like a negotiations tournament of priorities of me, my clients, my husband and then the things you own that own you. And of course then there are such things as the greater good. The collective will. Collective futures and better ideas of how life is. Then you stop and take it all in for a minute. I’m here for you. I really am. If you reach out to me I’ll pick up the phone, I’ll answer the mail and I’ll get to you where every you are if it your fucking falling apart and it bits and their is nobody else to call.
So from here on in – with my consistantly inconsistant self I’m letting me off the hook. Cause I live a real life where Mondays aren’t predictable. I don’t know most days what time my husband comes home from work (cause he does shifts) and well feelings are important to me. That my feelings almost always come first because thye dictate everything that I am and am able to do in the best possible way. That if I can manage my emotions. It might take coffee, it might take sleep or even some kind of meditation. If I can make that time for myself then fuck I’m doing the best you can and showing you what that looks like. That it’s part of a greater goal of what a wellbeing economy really looks like.
So this is an experimental post. Which is slightly different for a temperamental post. (Yes really it is) Sooooo you may have noticed last week that a wrote a whole story about my life what I do, Why I do it. It was supposed to inspire, uplift and possibly intrigue you enough to urge you into action. Yes really it was. That story brought me to the end of the Purple Chilli Accelerator 21 day programme that was intended to bring me closer to my real story than ever before. So that I can slowly bring together all the key elements of my “brand” in order to market to the right people more effectively. Are you rolling your eyes? Swiped left or pulled my classic which is scrolled to the bottom of the page to see how much more you might have to endure this befor clicking out? Anyways If your a member of my Healing Humans Group you will have learned from an article by James Clear that it’s all abut imporving systems, instead of setting goals. Deue to being flawesome I’m leaving this here my course work for the #purplechilliaccelerator as part of the process of re-reading and defining my story. If indeed interests you at all leave a loveheart (and I’ll explain more about that in the future). Yes fuck it’s long. I hope you’re life is too.
#purplechiliAcellerator#day2#thelifedoula I’m a Life Doula, I use coaching skills to help people navigate difficult times in their life. I offer ongoing free sessions every week to anybody who wants them and specialise in 3 hour coaching sessions. I like to get to the root of the cause of your distress quickly and longer sessions let me do that. What I really love about my business is that I literally get to live my best life doing what I enjoy most. Talking to people. I love talking to people learning about their lives and what makes them tick. Then finding the small solutions that make a big difference. What motivates me is knowing that I am changing the world one person at a time and that through my own personal commitment to love I am learning and growing every single day. My clients inspire me they are some of the most awesome people I have ever known who share in my commitment to healing themselves and the planet.
#purplechilliAccelerator#day3#thelifedoula My company helps my clients transform their emotional environments. You may think my company does coaching. What you might not know about us is that provide ongoing free support to anybody in need of emotional help. If you get into the heart of what I really do and why, you will find you’re dealing with a deeply authentic person who genuinely wants to make the world a better place for everyone.
#purplechilliAccelerator#day5#thelifedoula I am inspired by the beauty of life and the creativity of people. What I believe about my work is that above all it has the ability to improve every bodies quality of life. I am passionate about helping people discover who they really are.
#purplechilliaccelerator#day6#thelifedoula My why is bringing meaning to my own life journey by sharing my knowledge and experience with others. I started The Life Doula because I was inspired to create connection with everyday people and mitigate my one pain.
#purplechilliAccelerator#day7#thelifedoula I want all earthlings to have a vibrant and rich life. I do that by creating meaningful connections for humans. I offer free weekly coaching sessions and donation based coaching to humans that are ready to feel optimistic about themselves and our eco-logical future.
#purplechilliAccelerator#day8#thelifedoula I have always loved finding beauty. The reason that I get out of bed in the morning is the to embrace the slow gentle process of my own changing life and share it’s richness with others. I do what I do every day because deeper connection with the people and environment around us brings wisdom and a happier, healthier earth life experience.
#purplechilliAccelerator#day9#thelifedoula I believe we can change the world one person at a time and that that journey begins with me. Why is this important? Because the world needs radical transformation now. The old systems are in melt down and as humans we need to find our gifts and share them to that we can turn this shit around. I want everybody to experience good quality of life. I’m not really a Life Coach, I’m a Life Doula. I help people navigate difficult times in their lives using free ongoing support and donation based 3 hour coaching sessions. Working this way helps me break down systems that keep us chained and returning to a natural flow and ebb of the healing process. I free minds and I offer people the freedom to make their own choices informed by their own guidance.
#purplechilliAccelerator#day10#thelifedoula Radical Curator committed to evolution. Honest, Generous & Funny I want to find out what makes you tick. You can have a better life. Be the change you want to see in the world. I believe that life can be beautiful for everyone. Make time for change.
My Ideal Client Avatar (ICA) is not defined by Gender, is 13 – 70, it’s Complicated (because it nearly always is) is focused on the focused in The Human Legacy Project. Dreams of living Off-Grid as part of a integrated community. Hippie and Deliberate Co-Creator. The are interested in Sustainable Living, Yoga, Meditation, Community Activism, The Hemp Revolution, The Natural Environment, Cycling, Social Media, Creative Interests. The spend there spare time building connections that support The Human Project. The are most likely Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest users. The follow Barefoot Five, Afrikaburn, Greenpeace. The Human Project #Collective Futures. During there day there will be food the adheres to principles of #conciousconsumption reducing the #carbonfootprint#communityfocused Excercise, Spirituality, #nature#connection The goal is that one project that is going to change everything. The need help maintaining balance, changing the system. They love pictures of #ecoarchitecture and #changemaker quotes and #bulletjournals. They love people, nature, creative endeavours, local solutions on a global scale. There wear their own clothes that they picked for themselves and like all the time. They’d be on my team because without them we are all fucked. #opensource gets them excited, eating good food and sharing good content. I really want to work with #observatoryresident#actlocal They want to keep the dream of #sustainableliving alive. Marrying work life with the #authenticself#emotionalhealth#capacitybuilding#findingflow. I can connect with them in person through #wordofmouth and #socialmedia I help them build the sustainable life they dream of. I used word of mouth #freesessions and run a #donationbased business. Whoooooaaaahhhh got there.
#purplechilliaccelerator#day15#thelifedoula I was 18 and living in a high-rise flat in Glasgow when it first occurred to me that I could by myself out of the system. At 26 I realised that urban sprawl seemed to have no end game. That the planning process failed to account for environmental impact or engage communities effectively. That is was a global issue. This forced me on a journey of self-discovery and healing that resulted in me creating The Life Doula as it was Time For Change. I love work with people and communities. If you want to find out more why not check out my group Healing Humans https://www.facebook.com/groups/165008280785091
I was 18 and living in a high-rise flat in Glasgow when it first occurred to me that I could buy myself out of the system. At 26 I realised that growing urban sprawl seemed to have a very bad end game. That exponential growth on a planet with finite resources was at best impractical. That the current human system wasn’t humane and operated at the detriment of most people, families, communities and our natural environment. That these challenges were global. That we needed to find local solutions to global problems and that creating good infrastructure started with conscious communities. We had so many solutions yet were confused and divided at where to start our sustainable dream. Yet everything always seemed to be sorted out with a long chat and a cup of tea. We had to start with ourselves our own, hearts, minds and consciousness. We needed to find our own truths in order to know where we fitted in with anybody else’s. And that if we stayed true to that? We made friends, bonded together in community, we became collectively happier and as a result stronger. Far better equipped to take up the challenge. So if you want to find your starting point for global change why not come see me for a wee chat. https://www.facebook.com/events/797458117283349
In the morning I wake to spectacular life
I occupy time, live beyond myself and for myself.
I love witnessing people’s emotional environments and how they map communities and define cultures.
I love finding out what makes you tick, watching you smile and sharing the laughter.
I love finding the light in the darkness, the joy in the struggle, the beauty in the pain.
The Story of the Broken Goddess aka The Life Doula
Time To Change
Are you a Healing Human? Join my free Facebook group now https://www.facebook.com/groups/165008280785091/?ref=br_rs
Holding space has become a bit of a buzz term in recent years. Buzz strangely being the antithesis of holding space. I think many of us wonder what holding space really means?
For me It’s all about creating space for another person. What does that mean? Creating space is having the ability to literally invite someone into your life with the objective of sharing it. Many of us, that are on a go getting mission to live life to it’s fullest, are out there consuming people like they are products, we want cool friends, fun times and endless experiences. The truth is that very few humans are permanently on, and ready to party any time any where.
Creating space asks what we are able to give to another person simply by making time. That acknowledging another person’s humaness and need for connection is as much as anybody might need to heal. So when we create space it’s making time for those one-to-one chats. Turning off your phone and minimising interruptions, can be key to spending quality time with someone, whether it’s a friend, spouse or colleague.
Beyond the initial stage of creating space, holding space for someone is the ability to be fully present and connect on their deepest level. Crucially when we hold space for someone, we are expectation free. We drop our agendas and we simply allow someone to be human. We create a safe space by dropping judgement and simply being. It’s kind of like a collaborative meditation. Where the other persona is allowed to say whatever they want and we sieve our soul for the kindest most generous way to respond.
Holding space for other people can be beneficial to your own personal journey of growth or self-discovery, you may find it very informative and insightful. Often from listening to other people, their pains and their challenges, we can develop our own personal insight. We can manage to catch what we think before we say it and realise that often that our internal dialogues are highly demanding, unfair and often unreasonable. So there is a lot to be gained personally from holding space.
Holding space is at the core of what I do. It’s one of the main reasons I am a Life Doula and not a coach. I believe that when people are experiencing serious growth that they deserve to be witnessed by another human. I often liken the human growth process the the human birth process. We don’t leave a mother alone and vulnerable to tough it out. We hold space for her and we understand that we are there to fulfill the roles that she is unable fulfill for herself. We also understand there is no time limit to this. Labour takes as long as it takes and postpartum support, is too, part of that process. Crucially when we are holding space we don’t need validation or approval. We are there because we want to be. We put our own needs aside and place another person at the very center of our focus. We are not attached to an outcome. That does not mean to say that we can’t take a boundaried approach to our gift of presence, it’s more a matter of providing powerfully with the time that we have. Holding space, sounds, looks and feels very different to different people. Creating space isn’t just about creating silence, it’s opening up to another persons possibilities. Finding out what it is that we want to share. As humans we all have so many complex multi-facted frames of reference it’s absurd that to think that we might have all the answers to somebody else’s problems. The best we can do is be there.
Another earth year is rapidly coming to an end again, at least in the western world. Where we begin and end seems for us adults to have already melded into a blur or birthday parties and end of year functions where we are all supposed to get long. Life is supposed to be taking us on one linear up cycle, the one that was predicted for us when we attended school.
We already know that life isn’t like that and as we sit considering the last earth year we might consider; what exactly is going on in our lives? and what next year holds for us? The end of year can be an important time to plan for the year ahead or change track completely. Many of us are so deeply caught in the cycle of production and consumption that we are barely able to give our emotional or if we are really getting advanced spiritual needs a thought. We believe that with more money that we will have the ability to buy the things we want to create our own happiness. Whether it be objects or experiences that we wish to purchase the idea of our happiness can often seem to be balanced in our banking account rather than our own deeper truth.
You can’t purchase your own truth you have to get deep down and jiggy with it in the wee small hours, doing the inner work. Now, (as it is always) is a great time to consider the path ahead. Life is simply made of up of choices and circumstances. We have absolute power to change what takes priority in our lives. There are also a multitude of things that we can choose to prioritise, whether it be health, family, friends, spiritual growth, work or finances.
Although we may not need to change everything in one day we do need to have a road map of how to get from where we are to where we want to be. Like any adventure, you may start out with no idea of where you going on what you might want to do. Getting started is as bold a decision as any, and you must congratulate yourself for it. We may not need to make a physical journey to find out what is important to us. It is important that we follow our joy. To long have we put off happiness in the hope that money can buy it for us. It’s time for us to consider what will make us truly happy and move towards what can take us there. There may be things that we need to find out along the way to know what is important to us. It’s time to evaluate. It’s time to take stock and think about what is truly serving us. It may be our work, it maybe the people in our lives, it may even be where we live or the basic rhythm of our daily lives. Maybe you get up to early or too late and you wonder where the secrets to an actual better day lies. What do you want? What do you like? These may have been questions you have never asked yourself. They may have been things that you have been denied your whole life. It’s time to ask those questions now. It’s time to write a bucket list and wonder what are you waiting for? Not only that who you want to share the experience with? Maybe there is nobody, maybe there is somebody, are you waiting for that someone to arrive?
There are a lot of questions to ask and a lot of answers to find as you begin to unpick what the next year holds. It’s time to design the life you want in the hope of appreciating what you have.
Too easily we talk about change, building new lives or making drastic choices in order to move swiftly into the next stages of tomorrow. That all of a sudden everything will be different, that the slate is wiped clean and we can start again without a shadow in our minds or a cloud in a clear blue sky. That’s not reality and that is quite simply not how life here on earth has been designed. To make radical change and to cut off what we were doesn’t make sense, especially when we look at an old tree or our elders, we see that those that we most respect embrace the age and status, the scars of life and are happy to tell their tale without shame or remorse. They have learned to accept who they are and their choices, they embrace the subsequent consequences as part of who they have become. Growth really is a process of integration more than anything else, where we learn to accept the things that cannot change, especially the past, no matter how painful or terrifying.
We have to learn how to embrace it as part of ourselves and then ultimately set boundaries as to how much power the past has to impact on a flourishing future. After all, it’s only our memory of what happens and our wilfulness to breathe life into that memory that gives it any power to persist to remain.
There is also a lot to be said for growth not being possible without a certain amount of decay or destruction. We only have to look at plants themselves in order to understand the order of things. Plants grow naturally in the debris of their own decay. Letting go of what no longer serves them, is the fuel that sustains their growth. It’s quite an incredible thing really when you think on it. Trees only grow in unison of the trees and plants that surround them, all growing together. Letting go and standing together, their roots and branches all intertwined.
The greatest growth happens as part of a symbiosis through friendships, families and communities that support and carry us. The greatest challenge can be to find those who are going to encourage and support you as you follow through your natural progression in life.
I’m working on a new theory, that has no basis other than my own musings and some unsubstantiated references that I can’t fully remember.
The Seasons Of Life is something that has been bumping around my head ever since I first connected with Stevie Nick’s Landslide . Can I handle the seasons’ of my life? I’ve been carrying this lyric around with me for some time now it’s poetry captures something that we are all aware of, that we can’t quite put our finger on. We as humans have our own rhythms that follow a life cycle unique to us. Kind of like dog years. Our life cycles have less to do with earth years than we might imagine as our home planet circumferences the sun.
Our lives can feel split into very different stages and in fact we can feel like very different people to ones we we started off as. Yet very little in society is geared towards these changes, understanding them or accepting them. Instead we are programmed to be emotionally contained, financially viable, reproductive, ageless machines.
We are all expected to have family focused, connected lives without any guidance as to how, especially when we come from dysfunctional families ourselves. Yet respect is only garnered when we are raising families or indeed self-parenting ourselves in the perfect set up for our age. Whether it be a student flat in our early twenties, co-habiting partnership in our thirties, family homes in our forties and so it continues. Set one foot out of alignment with this carefully concocted materialistic display of how your life should be and you’ll feel the advert of human life short changing you. Unless you’ve been living on the family plot from the start? Then you just the centre of almost every movie ever made. You’re live is what has come to be expected of almost every film ever made, or lifestyle magazine. An established home of the upper middle classes that will allow you to flourish at poetry production and even get published (though it may not be any good).
So the seasons? Gestation, Infancy, Childhood, Puberty, Adulthood, Relationship, Parenthood, Elder, Death. None of them anything to do with money, all bringing their own emotional territory as we go along. Nought much to do with the planet either, Earth years just mark our supposed passages. When really they come in their own time. In their own season, not to be presupposed by our own human expectation.
Way back in the day all the beautiful stones in the world were apparently magically discovered only in river beds and were there waiting to be plucked out for us to enjoy. Now most of our gem stones come from deep underground and are laboriously mined and forced to the surface. I’m not saying one method is better than the other. Both methods involved some kind of work; getting wet and the other one digging deep.
As you’re lying, gasping for air, exhausted with your life, you are probably wondering what I’m asking of you? And if you have the capacity to continue. Well it’s a cop out. Only you know that. What I can say is that if you are very close to drowning or in the darkest of places there is treasure where you are. Next, you think I’m going to say “time heals everything”. No not really, however distance does. Why else would we end up on these strange cumbersome adventures. The thing is living in despair, which is a lot different to depression (though I doubt you’re going to find a super chipper desperado). It’s like going into an underground pub only to come out and be blinded by the light. To be desperate is to have teetered on the edge of hopelessness. If you’re lying on your back floating in the abyss right now wondering why you haven’t drowned, that the sharks haven’t eaten you, yet, and more than a little fucked off that they haven’t. Then I am probably the right guru for you (please bear in mind I don’t actually profess to know anything). I’m not talking about things going wrong for a day or a week or a year I’m about things going wrong for decades. Fucking decades and well if you have been there and every day is a struggle, a god damn war. Life is pointless it has no meaning.
That’s from your perspective. Perspective is the only thing that you have to change and given that you’ve probably physically experienced going round corners there’s a good chance that changing perspective is possible for you.
That sounds fucking patronising; that if you can walk round corners you can change your life? And well maybe it is. Seriously though maybe you are standing too close to the wall that you want to push through. There are many ways to overcome obstacles and if you want to break down a wall you have to be aware of the things that you might need. Just like breaking down a door you might want to take a step back in order to gain velocity and create force. Alternatively, you might want to build up speed to climb it. Or maybe with enough overview you might see a door out or a window through or even the edge or something.
We are all going to die anyway? Yes we are? And yes in this age we as humans seem to engage with existential crisis with a certain amount of vigour it’s entirely possible to wonder at the point of it all?
Embracing your insignificance is a bountiful step on the path back to the road that you are suppose to be on. What the actual fuck!? Just think about it a bit more. We are all invisible anyway why not use your super power for good.
So keep floating in the abyss. Don’t accidentally wake up dead and I’ll see you in the next installment.
It’s a simple thing really isn’t it. Feelings. They are what your feel, from stubbing your big toe to having your first kiss there is a whole host of sensations and emotions that accompany us throughout our lives; that largely dictate if life is going to be an enriching experience for us.
Feelings make up so much of who we are, imagine Marvin the Depressed Robot if he wasn’t depressed, or any number of the Mr Men and Little Miss book’s characters. If we didn’t feel and thus express ourselves in certain ways we wouldn’t be quite who we are, or in some cases even recognisable. Identifying our feelings truthfully can be much harder than we think. As children we are barely given a compass to navigate the simplest of emotions of happy and sad, little less embrace their own vulnerabilities. We wonder why toddlers are frustrated. They don’t have the understanding or the words to express their inner feelings.
There are so many feelings from ecstasy to agony yet we rarely pinpoint them when they occur. If we did we might find out a lot more about out ourselves. In fact admitting to our emotions can be some of our most courageous inner work. I mean let’s just look at the German word of schadenfreude it’s with a wry sense of discomfort that most of us can admit to taking delight in another misfortune. Yet it’s an emotion many of us have felt without openly admitting to.
Often we feel things that seem extreme, unconnected, reactionary, delayed even inappropriate and we wonder why? Our lives can be dominated by powerful emotions many of us are fuelled by rage, even righteousness or driven by love and compassion. We can even have shame based reactions to our emotions believing we should be stronger, unaffected, that vulnerability is a crime and weakness is some kind of societal disease.
When we unpack our emotions we can soon begin to see that black and white situations become grey and our feelings are far more complex and graduated than we might ever have thought. Slowly we can see that our internal dialogues and inner landscapes are skewed by the stories that we tell ourselves based on feelings we are attached to and belief systems that we have undertaken. If we follow our feelings we have the ability to find deep meaningful answers to some of our most pressing musings.
As adults we can wildly spring from hurt to angry and forget all about betrayed, disappointed and sad. What if we said “I’m sad you betrayed me?” What if we knew where the hurt came from? And rather than say “You hurt me” “I am disappointed because I expected you to keep your word?”
Observing our feelings can provide our greatest insights into ourselves. If we look deeper rage can give way to resentment, resentment can give way to resistance, then eventually resistance yields. When we acknowledge our feelings we can allow them to change themselves.