I think I might be beginning to feel it now. In fact I might be coming to a very different understanding of what this might mean entirely. Even in this moment I want you to know I am hiding. I am not telling you all I am, what I believe or indeed how I manifest my dreams, or even what those dreams might be. What I experience now is that I have my very own kind of magic that falls in and away from the everyday transaction of something for material gain. As a recent compulsive purchase has just taught me The History of Magic by Chris Gosden is that ‘magic emphasizes human connections with the universe and the universe is responsive to us’. So maybe it isn’t so much about the the power of aligned action is it is to do with magic. You see we’ve been trained not to be true to ourselves and although I may have ironed in a good emotional frequency into my mind my body definitely experiences the world as a dangerous place. Most women will tell you this that somewhere deep in their bodies is a place where vulnerability meets threat, where threat means violence. When I’m writing that is a lot of where I live. When I take action that is a lot of what I am sorting out. You see in the language of A2B Transformation I am E-Loced by time. I am E-loced by both my own history and the impact that my action, belief, insight and even writing may have over time. That it might incur me to experience criticism of inform and impact the world in ways that I had not anticipated or even planned for. That I might upset people and even become a source from which to polarise arguments. That my ideas, process and arguments might be triggering and indeed harmful and as a result inadvertently cause me harm. So being invisible is easy. Being all love and light and violet flame is an extraordinary practice. However it doesn’t leave a lot for the traumatised to work with, nor do most religious spectres on forgiveness. I’ve been pondering a lot about the origins of the for-give and for-get and even for-grieve without actually having done much research on their entomology. What I feel though is that they hold answers within their breaking down. For-give to forward give. For-get to forward get and For-grieve to forward grieve. That the words in their very essence have a magical essence to what they manifest that within forgiving there is a forward gift, that within forgetting there is a forward getting, that in forgrieving there is a letting and just like that forbid popped into the fold. Forward-bidding?
What has all this got to do with The Power of Aligned Action, we have to know who we are not to know who we are and that is a process, a very demanding one when done in public. It’s also very much about how that might go about being ‘marketed’ to the masses as a concept of radical transformation, of how to be a true authentic self. It sure as hell isn’t a one size fits all. It’s a fucking fuck up. You don’t learn it in school and very few people are interested in the perpetuating systemic trauma that might prevent you from manifesting your dreams. Especially when being invisible has kept you safe. When not being yourself has allowed you to survive. That’s been my story in very strange ways. How could I possibly say that? How could I possibly say that or indeed write that publicly and put a rubber stamp on it? You see my writing is by its very nature disruptive. Not just in terms of what I write but also in terms of how I write. First of all I’m dyslexic, second of all I hold a certain amount of language trauma as a result of being a Scot speaking and writing in English, who’s nuanced understanding of language has never developed well enough to have an actual grammatical understanding of English. You see there simply comes a point and I do hope that it arrives for all of you that you have to “Chuck it in the fuck it bucket” and beyond having to accept things as they are you have to accept yourself as you are.
I’m dreamer, a optimist, a humanist and egalitarian that gives a shit about both the planet and the Earthlings that live here and that is actually in real life terms deeply uncool. Because your too sensitive, over dramatic, rebellious, disruptive, passionate, abused, aggressive, militant, triggered as well as I so fervently tell you traumatised cause societal gaslighting is here. Your too much, not enough and failing spectacularly all the time. Every day there is a new fight, everyday another storm, a new recruit, a new wave of both supporters and incoming information to disseminate. It’s fucking endless and most people don’t really give a fuck about the rape victims I work with for free that will never see justice. Few people really give a fuck about the neglected emotionally abused child in all of us that has never been held. Few people really give a fuck abiutther the devistating impact of scoicital gaslighting and it’s accompanying systemic racism and trauma. Few people really give a fuck about economic collapse the real impacts of a global pandemic. Few people really give a fuck that large swaths are Soutern Atlantic have been found to ‘dead’ ie. nothing live there and well. No one really care that humanity is literally falling apart, one person, one home, one family, one community, one river, one forest and one planet at a time.
Do you know why we know this no one wants to talk about it over dinner, no one wants to walk instead of ride and no one is wiling to leave the plastic packaging that is destroying large swathes of our environment in the fucking supermarket (I know). More than this few of us are checking on their neighbour and in fact huge swathes of us find it increasingly difficult to speak kindly to one another (having never been taught). Cause actually being kind is disruptive, in fact in an anti-human society it tends to destroy people. So the next time you want to call someone militant or aggressive why not say abused, neglected ignored, triggered, traumatised because nobody else is doing the work that they have the heart to.
Right now all the people that have been living on the edge forced out of society due to their deep care and compassion now stand on the edge of the biggest human initiation on the planet. What do we do when the world falls apart? We turn up with tea and say “There dear” it’s okay I won’t destroy you.
So yes perfect aligned action is finding yourself in the turmoil and terror and saying I have to do it anyway. It’s a commitment to the calling. It’s a commitment to you and the world’s magic.
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