The Life Doula

Change

IMG-2579Well, I can assure you that change is something I’m pretty good at with 34 house moves under my belt, I might even say that I am a master craftswoman or something like that. It’s something that many businesses and corporation go on about a lot these days, change management. Let’s face it the world has been speeding up for a while. Technology is outdated before it’s even hits the shelves and everybody wants to be everywhere all at once. FOMO seems to permeate the millennial life and more than that there is already a whole new generation getting ready to emerge. Millennials are already old news and insta perfect lives seems to a get to be a less manageable delusion. We all make mistakes. We all have bad days. Most of us crave more than we already have. Something different, something new, even if it is just that new restaurant that opened up in town. While other stick to the daily grind stay in their rat runs of existence and do there best to protect themselves for unseeable forces or simply embrace making the best lives that they can (Gold stars for them) My mother once said to me a long time ago that “Life is change”. My life of all people’s is certainly demonstrative of that.

For me right now it’s not so much what is going on for me in my personal life than is the challenge. It is the world at large. We often hear people talking about this period in history, as if nothing like this has ever happened before. Like religious, political, racial and gender persecution hasn’t been a thing. It is hard to acknowledge that it always has when we have experienced 75 years of relative peace in the western world. It’s so easy to forget that that peace is built on conflict. That the privileges that we have right now were developed in response to deep crisis and that most of the world systems have developed through exposure to disaster, whether it be in health, education or governance. Like Game of Thrones and the White Walkers, the biggest threat that we have right now is the preservation of life itself. It goes beyond what little scrap of Earth we may be able to dig out and protect for ourselves. It goes beyond our individual materialist needs and individual survival. It’s about land, waterways, communities and respect and believes that we are now on the very brink of a major paradigm shift where the world as we know it is about to change. Every ten years or so there seems to be a massive emergence of what we might call the radical left. Last time it was the Occupy Movement this time its Extinction Rebellion. Fundamentally what you need to know that movements evolve that many of the people involved in the Extinction Rebellion were involved in Occupy. The goal posts have moved somewhat but what you need to know is that the requirements for a successful resolution to our global challenges have not. What we need is a wellbeing economy that put the needs of the planet first. As The Life Doula, this is at the core of my work as I believe that in order for that change to happen that we need in essence to heal humans of the sickness of greed and the disconnection that fuels so much of our insecurities. That we need secure attachments, strong communities and the ability to sustain ourselves, having all the resources that we need for survival within walking distance. It’s time to get back to where we belong, in loving families, intentional tribes safe from the disruptive forces of capitalism.

I Nurture My Human

IMG-1836

Do you every get to a point where you think I might never nail this? I think that’s where I am today. I’ve got unfinished projects, new progressions and self-nurturance projectories that I just can’t keep up with. Then I fall back let go, look around and realise my head is driving me crazy. My life is great. I have enough insight to know that my life is on a gentle upward trend. I have a secure homes, running water (Which this time last year might have seemed an impossibility. Find out more here) money in the bank. More importantly I like myself and for someone who often feels like that there personality seems to be bouncy castle embedded with hidden razor blades I love myself plenty. I just have no idea what that looks like to the outer world. For the most part I don’t really care much about that, excpet of course I’m always doing my best to serve and love other people. Cause after all who wants to end up with a personality that’s a bouncey castle with hidden razors blades. quite frankly that’s a lot of what I deal with – Yes my personality me. Sometimes I wonder how it is that I make it into the future and other times I wonder how I used to managed that so well way back in the day.

Working for yourself is such a different ball game when it’s almost entirely customer facing and perfectionism isn’t the end goal. That you need to keep it real that you need to say. You know life? It’s fucking hectic and messy. There are so many things that act and do exactly what they want and they are wonderful. Sometimes I just want to follow my intuition down rabbit holes or do what’s easiest in stead of what’s hardest. That sometimes placating a situation is far easier than drawing lines in the sand. Every day feels like a negotiations tournament of priorities of me, my clients, my husband and then the things you own that own you. And of course then there are such things as the greater good. The collective will. Collective futures and better ideas of how life is. Then you stop and take it all in for a minute. I’m here for you. I really am. If you reach out to me I’ll pick up the phone, I’ll answer the mail and I’ll get to you where every you are if it your fucking falling apart and it bits and their is nobody else to call.

So from here on in – with my consistantly inconsistant self I’m letting me off the hook. Cause I live a real life where Mondays aren’t predictable. I don’t know most days what time my husband comes home from work (cause he does shifts) and well feelings are important to me. That my feelings almost always come first because thye dictate everything that I am and am able to do in the best possible way. That if I can manage my emotions. It might take coffee, it might take sleep or even some kind of meditation. If I can make that time for myself then fuck I’m doing the best you can and showing you what that looks like.  That it’s part of a greater goal of what a wellbeing economy really looks like.

#Hashtag You

IMG-0983So this is an experimental post. Which is slightly different for a temperamental post. (Yes really it is) Sooooo you may have noticed last week that a wrote a whole story about my life what I do, Why I do it. It was supposed to inspire, uplift and possibly intrigue you enough to urge you into action. Yes really it was. That story brought me to the end of the Purple Chilli Accelerator 21 day programme that was intended to bring me closer to my real story than ever before. So that I can slowly bring together all the key elements of my “brand” in order to market to the right people more effectively. Are you rolling your eyes? Swiped left or pulled my classic which is scrolled to the bottom of the page to see how much more you might have to endure this befor clicking out? Anyways If your a member of my  Healing Humans Group you will have learned from an article by James Clear that it’s all abut imporving systems, instead of setting goals. Deue to being flawesome I’m leaving this here my course work for the #purplechilliaccelerator as part of the process of re-reading and defining my story. If indeed interests you at all leave a loveheart (and I’ll explain more about that in the future). Yes fuck it’s long. I hope you’re life is too.

Ok so I’ve got the journal. Fairly confident that most of my extra curricular goals can be met here along with my digital marketing ones. This is my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/thelifedoula/ it was really hard to come up with only 3 hashtags. Though I’ve gone with #timeforchange #donationbased #wellbeingeconomy

#purplechiliAcellerator #day2 #thelifedoula I’m a Life Doula, I use coaching skills to help people navigate difficult times in their life. I offer ongoing free sessions every week to anybody who wants them and specialise in 3 hour coaching sessions. I like to get to the root of the cause of your distress quickly and longer sessions let me do that. What I really love about my business is that I literally get to live my best life doing what I enjoy most. Talking to people. I love talking to people learning about their lives and what makes them tick. Then finding the small solutions that make a big difference. What motivates me is knowing that I am changing the world one person at a time and that through my own personal commitment to love I am learning and growing every single day. My clients inspire me they are some of the most awesome people I have ever known who share in my commitment to healing themselves and the planet.

#purplechilliAccelerator #day3 #thelifedoula My company helps my clients transform their emotional environments. You may think my company does coaching. What you might not know about us is that provide ongoing free support to anybody in need of emotional help. If you get into the heart of what I really do and why, you will find you’re dealing with a deeply authentic person who genuinely wants to make the world a better place for everyone.

#purplechilliaccelerator #day4 #thelifedoula I help my clients build meaningful connection through free weekly contact session. My values are driven by sharing.

#purplechilliAccelerator #day5 #thelifedoula I am inspired by the beauty of life and the creativity of people. What I believe about my work is that above all it has the ability to improve every bodies quality of life. I am passionate about helping people discover who they really are.

#purplechilliaccelerator #day6 #thelifedoula My why is bringing meaning to my own life journey by sharing my knowledge and experience with others. I started The Life Doula because I was inspired to create connection with everyday people and mitigate my one pain.

#purplechilliAccelerator #day7 #thelifedoula I want all earthlings to have a vibrant and rich life. I do that by creating meaningful connections for humans. I offer free weekly coaching sessions and donation based coaching to humans that are ready to feel optimistic about themselves and our eco-logical future.

#purplechilliAccelerator #day8 #thelifedoula I have always loved finding beauty. The reason that I get out of bed in the morning is the to embrace the slow gentle process of my own changing life and share it’s richness with others. I do what I do every day because deeper connection with the people and environment around us brings wisdom and a happier, healthier earth life experience.

#purplechilliAccelerator #day9 #thelifedoula I believe we can change the world one person at a time and that that journey begins with me. Why is this important? Because the world needs radical transformation now. The old systems are in melt down and as humans we need to find our gifts and share them to that we can turn this shit around. I want everybody to experience good quality of life. I’m not really a Life Coach, I’m a Life Doula. I help people navigate difficult times in their lives using free ongoing support and donation based 3 hour coaching sessions. Working this way helps me break down systems that keep us chained and returning to a natural flow and ebb of the healing process. I free minds and I offer people the freedom to make their own choices informed by their own guidance.

#purplechilliAccelerator #day10 #thelifedoula Radical Curator committed to evolution. Honest, Generous & Funny I want to find out what makes you tick. You can have a better life. Be the change you want to see in the world. I believe that life can be beautiful for everyone. Make time for change.

My Ideal Client Avatar (ICA) is not defined by Gender, is 13 – 70, it’s Complicated (because it nearly always is) is focused on the focused in The Human Legacy Project. Dreams of living Off-Grid as part of a integrated community. Hippie and Deliberate Co-Creator. The are interested in Sustainable Living, Yoga, Meditation, Community Activism, The Hemp Revolution, The Natural Environment, Cycling, Social Media, Creative Interests. The spend there spare time building connections that support The Human Project. The are most likely Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest users. The follow Barefoot Five, Afrikaburn, Greenpeace. The Human Project #Collective Futures. During there day there will be food the adheres to principles of #conciousconsumption reducing the #carbonfootprint #communityfocused Excercise, Spirituality, #nature #connection The goal is that one project that is going to change everything. The need help maintaining balance, changing the system. They love pictures of #ecoarchitecture and #changemaker quotes and #bulletjournals. They love people, nature, creative endeavours, local solutions on a global scale. There wear their own clothes that they picked for themselves and like all the time. They’d be on my team because without them we are all fucked. #opensource gets them excited, eating good food and sharing good content. I really want to work with #observatoryresident #actlocal They want to keep the dream of #sustainableliving alive. Marrying work life with the #authenticself #emotionalhealth #capacitybuilding #findingflow. I can connect with them in person through #wordofmouth and #socialmedia I help them build the sustainable life they dream of. I used word of mouth #freesessions and run a #donationbased business. Whoooooaaaahhhh got there.

#purplechilliaccelerator #day15 #thelifedoula I was 18 and living in a high-rise flat in Glasgow when it first occurred to me that I could by myself out of the system. At 26 I realised that urban sprawl seemed to have no end game. That the planning process failed to account for environmental impact or engage communities effectively. That is was a global issue. This forced me on a journey of self-discovery and healing that resulted in me creating The Life Doula as it was Time For Change. I love work with people and communities. If you want to find out more why not check out my group Healing Humans https://www.facebook.com/groups/165008280785091

I was 18 and living in a high-rise flat in Glasgow when it first occurred to me that I could buy myself out of the system. At 26 I realised that growing urban sprawl seemed to have a very bad end game. That exponential growth on a planet with finite resources was at best impractical. That the current human system wasn’t humane and operated at the detriment of most people, families, communities and our natural environment. That these challenges were global. That we needed to find local solutions to global problems and that creating good infrastructure started with conscious communities. We had so many solutions yet were confused and divided at where to start our sustainable dream. Yet everything always seemed to be sorted out with a long chat and a cup of tea. We had to start with ourselves our own, hearts, minds and consciousness. We needed to find our own truths in order to know where we fitted in with anybody else’s. And that if we stayed true to that? We made friends, bonded together in community, we became collectively happier and as a result stronger. Far better equipped to take up the challenge. So if you want to find your starting point for global change why not come see me for a wee chat. https://www.facebook.com/events/797458117283349

#purpleAccelerator #day19 #freeoffer #thelifedoula #onit #allcaughtup https://www.facebook.com/events/797458117283349/

#purplechilliacclerator #day21 #thelifedoula #crackedit

In the morning I wake to spectacular life
I occupy time, live beyond myself and for myself.
I love witnessing people’s emotional environments and how they map communities and define cultures.
I love finding out what makes you tick, watching you smile and sharing the laughter.
I love finding the light in the darkness, the joy in the struggle, the beauty in the pain.
The Story of the Broken Goddess aka The Life Doula
Time To Change
Are you a Healing Human? Join my free Facebook group now https://www.facebook.com/groups/165008280785091/?ref=br_rs

 

Imagine

IMG-0839So here it is. I have made it to the end of my personal working year. The end of the working year is a strange idea when you are in the wellness business. My personal work is my business, so although I may be powering towards writing the last few words of this post trying to put into perspective a 12 month cycle for a customer facing debrief, the work is far from over.  In fact it has only just begun. My head is already spinning around a year in review. The big lessons. How to integrate what I’ve learned into next years planning. How to plan differently. Who to partner with and of course much much more…..

What I find incredulous is that I started out this year hoping to write a blog post each week. Which I’ve kept up with far better than I expected.  I have certainly committed to the process. This time last year I was trying to plan blog posts, schedule them in time with the seasons and my own forced ideas of personal progression, only to find out that the spontaneous nature of my creative intuition has been my premier guiding force.

I found that even though I had started a huge amount of posts, that when I sat down to write or complete them that I simply wasn’t inspired enough to get the words out of my head onto the paper. The things I thought were important didn’t some how  live in the forefront of my mind at that moment. I have often misguidedly thought of myself as deeply liberated and if anything this year I have learned the opposite about myself. That I am very much confined by the idea of what people might think of me. Being a bride has amplified that awareness and I hope in the long run to have broken down that limitation for my benefit. This year blog writing for me has been transformative and become about flow, instinct, personal journey and quite frankly not giving a fuck about what anybody else thinks. That I need to write what I need to write when I need to write it. Sometimes that means I’ve been way ahead of the game and other times it means I’ve been way behind it. What has been the greatest thing about blogging here is emotional freedom it has given me to express myself. What had stated out as a brave step in personal exposure has become a gradual liberation of my personal opinion. Which can at times be totally contradictory. Good Luck with that.

2018 It’s been wild. It’s Scottish wild, here that I refer to – that it’s been a totally out of control bordering on misadventure, with most of the planets going backwards it’s hard to imagine that the celestial beings that roam our skies have not played a hand even for the most detached humans. Luckily though it is where the magic happens. For life to be spectacular it has to have some darkness and intrigue to be able to see the fireworks right?

I’m hoping that the Brexit fiasco is last of what encroaches on my personal life after all a shift in statehood is a big moment in anybody’s life. Along with marital status and nationhood. It’s been a big year…..

Now my need to collapse into myself grows. It’s the end of the year. It’s time to reflect, reward and plan for the next. To expand the time scales and begin to manifest again. As you wonder at it all. The big messages, the major fuck ups, the small victories. And in fact new Scottish words to describe it all clusterburach. Just the other week I was saying to a friend of mine that is 2018 had a meme it would be getting slap in the face by a seal with and octopus. Yes it’s been that kind of year, and lets face it who saw that coming!!!

There is so much to let go of in order to catch another star, to ride a bigger wave and swim in deeper oceans. We are all trying to hold on to so much….. while time slips gladly by. It’s only time, non-linear, perfect time that might only be another illusion to unblock. Maybe we can be it all. Maybe we can understand it all. To do so we have to be able to lose it all. There only moments after all, days, weeks, months, years and decades just strung together in such a way that we can watch them fade aways. Lose the attachment and wonder what could I be if I let go of more. The world turns and we all learn a little more how we change with the seasons and that we have our very own seasons to live through.  So on that note I’m giving myself the next few weeks off if you hear from me consider it a Holiday bonus. I might even surprise myself. Have a great few weeks.

Flawsome

29597636_10156369633359664_1946819136042938382_n

When you work in personal development and especially as a Life Doula there is the idea of an invisible and imaginary line that separate your work from your personal life. As I get further into my own personal development, life journey and a deeper knowledge of self, that line becomes increasingly more blurred. I started out with a clear idea of what I wanted to write about, as the The Life Doula, themes that I wanted to explore. Now I know that our greatest learning is from our own direct experience of our own lives. It seems strange  trying to write at a distance about life with self-help references while in truth learning the most from the non-refracted processes that we experience daily. All the while wondering, what was that all about? Is it me? Is it my family? My romantic relationship? Is it the world at large? Is this reaction or response definitive or is it a phase. In fact could it be the stars? Could it be the moon? Do I really need to engage with all this to fully understand myself? Is self-development a deeply personal act or should I be following some kind of shared doctrine? Is religion a feature? Is yoga truly necessary? Is meditation a must? Are spirituality or faith key in all of this? There are so many quests towards personal truth and an infinity of experiences that can take us there. I have to embrace my own complexity and thus fuddlings in the quest for the authentic representation of myself as The Life Doula.

This blog is where life interplays with representation. Who we truly are versus what we present. The masks that we uphold and fake plasticness of a branded stereotype that fits or maybe confounds a business model of a polished finished perfection that has inbuilt imperfection to seem more real.

Why am I writing about all this now today? Flawsomeness it’s a thing? I just got married, more succinctly maybe hosted a wedding. . Even as a Master Life Coach I did not perfectly segway the last few weeks of working, to bride to be, to bride, to married in a smooth pre-planned perfectly coordinated show. I fucked up. I became overworked, overwhelmed, and even exhausted, I broke under the pressure and I failed to deliver both privately and professionally on the level I would have liked. Even though I knew it was a big deal, even though I had planned well. Even though I took time and even scheduled the minutia. Big moments can knock us of course and they are supposed to. Life changing events change our priorities, even though we my have already planned to be perturbed.