Clan? What doe that mean. People freely talk these days about finding their tribe. How important it is to have a group of people that you can connect with. That support your dreams want to share in them and celebrate your achievements.
If your suffering from PTSD or any form of trauma that celebration could be a simple as staying alive for a whole year, much less thriving through it. There is so much n the healing circuit about how you should heal, that you can heal and that healing is a choice. It’s easy to say when you have a support system. A family that cares about you. A family that has the skills of listening and compassion. I know right? We cannot heal in isolation and if you are attempting to you are on an uphill struggle one excruciating day at a time. Loneliness is painful. In a world where the family unit has become secondary to economic activity, it’s easy for us to be lost and even feel bereft when it comes to conversations about family. Much less what our deepest needs are in familial relationships. How do we create strong human attachments when no one has ever shown us what is truly possible?
Creating clan in this time can be as much about family healing as it is about ‘finding your tirbe’ . I talk about creating clan as Scot someone who knows where my family roots come from and have direct geographic acces to the orgins of my family. For so many that isn’t possible. Creating clan in this time can be as much about family healing as it is about ‘finding your tribe’. One clear way to find your tribe is finding a way back to yourself. Understanding how you family system in funtioning or dysfunctioning as they case may be and acknoldegeing how you are contributing to that dynamic. You may even feel the need to step away from family connections for a while while you that. In the meantime you may find that you need to do some intense personal enquirey as to what you do want from relationships. Not just romantic ones.
Being able to identfy how you want to be treated in your friendships is an important pathways to discovering who you want to be in the world. Taking time to discover what your interest are and how you might want those to manifest in your life is equally important to discover who you will be sharing your life journey with. You got to know who you want to be and what you want to create in order to attract the people who share the same values as you into your life. Of course, you’ve got be willing to accept that everyone is human and that they are not there to exclusively meet your needs. To have loving, kind, supportive relationships you’ve also got to be willing to forgive a lot along the way. We are all on a human journey. You attract what resonates. If it’s not working it’s time to resonate something else.
This article was wirtten to accompany the Trauma Wise Circle, by a dyslexic with a punk attitude.
